Walking up to, like a really big obstacle or something.

Like, it's just constant do do do do do do.

Almost like I'm afraid to not work hard.

Everything I gotta do, I gotta be sweating.

When I go in the mountains, it's really never anything that is on a trail.

A lot of my mental intensities don't really fit in a lot of places in society.

Climbing is something that I just constantly try to work for.

Since a kid, when I was a kid, it's just that's what I wanted.

Once you break over the trees, then it gets all wide open.

Me and my brother do it.

We kind of just start finding our own path.

it's more of an adventure.

I have all these physical, like, disabilities that I have to work through.

You know, three climbs, like three climbs.

Climb hard and climbing hard.

But as something where those things can be expressed.

You know, like injure yourself, hurt yourself, do scary things, like all this stuff.

My head was wrapped up into these just as hard as climbing or anything else, and the motivation just kind of destroyed my hands, too.

And like, they got so big and swollen that I couldn't really use them.

After my hands, it kind of compiled with, like, my mental stuff.

You know, it's my health and my mental health is my job.

I'm the one that comes from the background of like, crazy traumas and and all of that.

You do something really stupid, you have to accept that you did that and you have to, like, know that you have to change now I blacked out like a year of where I was taken from my family environment and exposed to extreme abuse.

Like I'm native.

Yeah.

Like just another halfie I still eat my mom's fish ice cream, you know.

When it comes to, like, my mom's side, it's not too good, unfortunately.

Her dad was known to be, like, into, like, dark voodoo type person.

Where they decided to stay and make a homestead, that whole area is kind of a dark place.

It's extremely isolated and that's tough.

When it comes to the type of trauma I, I like, received, I'm always at the, crazy high, high, high, high craziness.

You know, my dad, he taught me right from wrong.

A good dad.

And, like, when you have all these, like, exposures that aren't right and wrong, subconsciously.

So, like, that was just that crazy conflict that I had was just, so big that I was afraid of myself for most of my life.

You know, he constantly it was like, hard work, work ethic, you know, over and over and constantly showing bad examples, you know, through his experiences.

bad examples, you know, through his experiences.

bad examples, you know, through his experiences.

All through running from those and creating separation my whole life, you know, like hard like, like the belief that I am bad, you know, to the point of suicidal ideation.

No, no, no, I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad.

And then I reached a point where I actually looked at myself for my actions.

I was like, I'm not bad!

All this stuff happened, but I'm not bad.

Because of my dad, he's a good father, he taught me was like, you don't hurt people.

You don't hurt yourself.

You know, I've always had family and stuff, they're the ones that put me in into therapy where, like, okay, you're going in blah, blah, blah.

This happened.

I had to do it because what I was doing wasn't, you know, surviving.

Overcoming that that becomes like, my trauma is just the same stimulus as my entire life.

It's because there's no conquest to put on that trauma.

I never conquested people, you know, and I've never really had social tools.

Until I started getting into the climbing community here a little bit more.

And I would say that about this climbing community is that there are very open, you know, and accepting the mountaineers, climbers.

my experience of all those types of people is just extremely positive.

I like to climb pretty hard.

So, like, that's the place where I like to be,.